Step Six

Were Entirely Ready

“Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”

These ideas are found in the chapter on Step Six:

  • Can God remove defects of character?
  • Being “entirely ready” is a lifelong attitude
  • We may enjoy our character defects
  • Avoid the trap of perfectionism
  • Avoid the trap of indefinite postponement
  • Rebellion closes your mind against the grace of God

Why is it necessary to have a whole Step just to get ready to ask your Higher Power (or Program to remove your shortcomings? Because many people in the Twelve-Step programs have told us that their Higher Power does not come up and wrestle their character defects from them. From their collective experience it seems that it is hard to release those shortcomings until you are thoroughly ready to let them go.

A very basic counseling skill is to recognize when someone seems to be resisting a change that would be to their benefit. A simple way to put that is to ask yourself, what mileage are you getting out of that dysfunctional or ineffective behavior. Examples:

  • If you gossip about people, are you getting some superficial boost to your self-worth by putting others down? If you are not willing to let that go, you are not likely to get help with your gossiping.
  • If you are often resentful of others, do you use that resentment to justify your addictive behavior, or your actions toward those people? What other side benefits are you getting from your resentment? Until you decide to get rid of that ammunition, the confiict will likely continue.
  • If you have trouble with telling little lies, what kinds of conflicts or assertiveness or inconveniences are you avoiding? What short-term pain have the lies avoided? Realizing the long-term consequences can help you with the determination to give up the short-term benefits of lying, and open the door for your Higher Power to help you get more honest, through Step Seven.

Step Six, see also: Affirmations, Anger, Assertiveness, Attitudes, Behavior, Body image, Character defects, Fear, Feelings, Grief, Guilt & shame, Higher Power, Money, Perfectionism, Program, Resentments, Responsibility, Self-centeredness, Spending, Step Four, Step Seven, Step Eight, Survival roles.

Updated 11 Sep 2015

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Addictionary 2 by Jan & Judy Wilson

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